gah.

this is so adorable.
and true.
good men are dang attractive.
good men who want to be good, loving fathers
are even more attractive.

two thoughts.

1.

thank you to sweet lexi for this

and 2.

thank you to the beautiful megan for this

and ever

musicals are brilliant.

these next songs have been on replay.  for at least the past 72 hours.  i just love them.  music like this just fills my heart and mostly just makes me melt. and tear up. or just. be happy.

The Impossible Dream
from Man of la Mancha 
(this one mostly because I saw Brian Stokes Mitchell in concert.. He sings it beautifully.  view here)


to dream the impossible dream
to fight the unbeatable foe
to bear with unbearable sorrow
to run where the brave dare not go
to right the unrightable wrong
to love pure and chaste from afar
to try when your arms are too weary
to reach the unreachable star

this is my quest
to follow that star
no matter how hopeless
no matter how far
to fight for the right
without question or pause
to be willing to march into Hell
for a Heavenly cause

and I know if I'll only be true
to this glorious quest
that my heart will lie peaceful and calm
when I'm laid to my rest

and the world will be better for this
that one man, scorned and covered with scars
still strove with his last ounce of courage
to reach the unreachable star

Anything Can Happen
from Mary Poppins

(I've skipped to the end..)

If you reach for the stars all you get are the stars
but we've found a whole new spin if you reach for the heavens you get the stars thrown in 

if you reach for the stars all you get are the stars but we've found a whole new spin if you
reach for the heavens you get the stars thrown in
Anything can happen if you let it life out there waiting
so go and get it grab it by the collar seize it by the scruff one
you've started living life you just can't get enough
Anything can happen it's official you can choose the super
or the superficial sally forth the way we're steering obstacles
start disappearing 

go and chase your dreams you won't regret it
Anything can happen Anything can happen

Anything can happen
If you let it

which are your favorite musicals?

okay. i will always 

love

seven brides for seven brothers,

the sound of music,

my fair lady, 

mary poppins,

and hairspray. 

(and there are so many more. i love. musicals.)

it's true

i am still busy doing flowers!  and did i ever mention to all of you lovelies that i looove it?  because i most certainly do.  this is my most recent creation. (don't mind the blurry phone pic) the bride is getting married next week--this is the bouquet i created for her bridal portraits which are going on today!  i wish you all could smell that stock.  it is seriously amazing.  heavenly, if you will.  other flowers in this beauty are dahlia, spray rose, and snapdragon.  do you love how it turned out?  i sure do!! be sure to check out my floral blog here and stay tuned for more flower pictures from this wedding coming up later next week!

on replay

i don't like you, but i love you.  seems that i'm always thinking of you.  oh you treat me badly.  i love you madly.  you really got a hold on me.  i don't want you, but i need you.  don't want to kiss you but i need to.  oh you do me wrong now, me love is strong now.  you really got a hold on me. 

we have fallen down again tonight.  in this world it's hard to get it right.  tryin' to make your heart feel like a glove.. what  it needs is love love love.  everybody everybody wants to love.  everybody everybody wants to be loved.  happy is the heart that still feels pain.  darkness trains and light will come again.   swing open up your chest and let it in.  just let the love love love begin.

love, such a silly game we play.  like a summer's day in may.  what is love?  what is love?  and i can feel it in your kiss.  it just gives me tender bliss.  when i feel you around i was mad as hell when i hit the ground.  when i see you laugh away.  it hurts but i just won't say.  love.. who can tell me i am wrong.  i just think that i am strong.  oh love. 

no. i am not in love.  i just love love. and happy lovey love songs.

sun shines through the rain

right?

Well.

I have noticed a trend.

Actually, my friend Brady did.

He pointed this out to me just the other day!

I.  Am one lucky lady.

seriously.

remember my last trip to nyc?

i'm due for another east coast vaca.  serious.  i need to just plan it and get over ther'

.

.

.

but,  for instance:

the other day i was at nordy's, naturally.  looking for a new pair of seychelles.

when i remembered.

this.

the it's a small world collection celebrating It's A Small World's 45th anniversary! 

featuring my fave artist of all time, Mary Blair.

so i walk over to the children's dept.  and asked the nice lady where i could take a gander at what they had available for me to ooh and ahh at.

they were in between seasons.  ooof course they are!

so she asks me, 

"what size are you looking for?"

"oh.. well, no size in particular, i just really like mary blair and wanted to see the collection"

"are you an artist?"

".......(long pause)... why yes.  yes i am!"

"here, do you want these?...usually you have to spend a certain amount to get them but you should have them."

and then i melted into a puddle

i mean look at them!

beautiful. 

so then i thanked her and thanked her and was basically glowing the rest of the night. 

can you believe my luck!?

i'm buying frames for the prints asap and hanging them up in my room.  i'm thinking of painting my own Mary Blair inspired painting for a headboard.  featuring these as well.  ideas? 

perchance an austria themed one.  i've always wanted to go there.  

rolling in the deep

I am in love with her voice.


She is stunning!  And she's not stick-skinny.  Which makes me love her even more.

how did you know?

I asked some of my friends to say how they knew it was right. (A while ago, actually.) I was reading through some old messages and wanted to share these.   You hear so many un-success stories.  So how about some successful ones?  Mm?  Happy 400th Post. 

I think one of the sweetest things that he said about when he knew he wanted to marry me was that he knew he couldn't see me not being in his life. I know that I made the right decision because he is everything to me and I am everything to him.

I just knew that I loved this boy because he was helping me become a better person. I wanted to do better because of him.

 

 I don't really know how to explain it... I just kind of knew.. There was something different with him. He was everything that I had wanted in a spouse and for the father of my kids, we had the same goals for the future, and he was the only person who's opinion I cared about. I wanted to be better for him. When I felt sad or was hurt, he was the only one I wanted there to comfort me.  It wasn't magical and it didn't come without it's trials or fights (and we still have them), but I love him and only ever think of him when he's not here and just constantly wanted to be around him and think of ways to make him smile and new ways to show him how much I love him... and the thought of me being with someone else just never felt right. When I prayed and Heavenly Father said yes about him, I suddenly remembered that he had said no to a few others that were just as worthy and good people. That's how I knew.

 

How did I know he was the right man for me? I preferred his company over anyone else's. Whenever I saw something funny or heard something that made me angry, he was the first person I wanted to tell. I never got sick of being around him, and I just couldn't picture myself being with any other guy. I prayed about marrying him, but I didn't get my answer until a few weeks before our wedding.

 

 

I loved these.  It seems that, for me, the unsuccessful stories scream a lot louder than the successful ones. 

 

Then I look around at all those people- who are my friends, those I look up to, leaders, etc. who are so happy and in working marriages and I think to myself,  Hey, this could work out for you, too.  I've got to work hard for it, but it can work! 

 

Life happens and things don't always work the way we plan them out. 

 

All I know is with Heavenly Father on my side that I'm going to be okay.  No matter what happens along the way.

3 months cannot come fast enough!!

i had the videos embedded but they are far too big.



so go here for the trailer
and here for a behind the scenes look

i got the chills watching these, just fyi.
i can't believe it's all coming to a close in a few short months.


this just means i will be planning myself a trip


here


and


here



you all know I am a huge hp fan. you better believe i'll be at walmart at midnight tonight when part I comes out on BluRay so I can watch the first scene of part II...




baaah! can't wait. oh my lanta.

in five years time we could be walkin' 'round a zoo

I read this post by the brunette bombshell:

just a thought. a fleeting, passing, unforgivable thought.

the girl's greatest fear--if the girl was really honest with herself--was that you could find the man--the man you'd follow to the ends of the earth--the man for whom you'd lay down your life and sacrifice and work and love for--and that he'd then find that woman.

in someone else.

because the fairy tales told as a child never allowed for this possibility. and perhaps they should have?

 
 
I tried to comment on her post but for some reason my computer is having major issues.  So I'm going to share my thoughts here.
 
I don't believe there is just one person I'm meant to be with.  Of course I'm going to end up with just one man, but I believe there are many out there who I would be my best self with. 
 
Does that make any sense? 
 
 
Her post was so heart wrenching.  Because we've all been there.  We've all felt that heartache.  Where you think you've found 'the one' but it turns out it isn't so.  But I think you have to feel that before you can truly know how good you've got it once you've found it.  Yeah? 
 
 
While my love story hasn't been written yet, I love love. 
My heart melts reading love stories and watching wedding videos.
 
for more of my thoughts on this subject go here

friend feature: really-he's just not that into you

featuring Brittany from Really-He's Just Not That Into You ...Brittany was also a fellow Mormon Bachelor contestant with me!  I think we were destined to be friends. Enjoy!


I have a few “life directions” as I call them. My number one is to “be an active participant in your own life”. This boils down to almost anything.

But what I’d like to focus on in this guest post is dating.
Ahhh, dating. Every unattached person’s favorite subject. Being a 25 year old single Mormon female, I get berated with dating questions. The number one being “why aren’t you married???” [as if implying something’s wrong with me & no one wants me...] to which I want to respond “why are you so rude???” but alas, I usually just laugh & say something funny to change the subject.
I have a deep fascination with human relationships. Literally. I find people & how they interact endlessly entertaining. I’m even studying Family Studies. Oh, and I have a dating blog [really-hesjustnotthatintoyou.blogspot.com]. And you should see my collection of dating-advice books [I don’t have issues, it’s research!!]. Yeah, I wasn’t kidding.


So, what does all this have to do with “what I know for sure”? Lemme tell you.


Here’s what I know for sure. Life is for LIVING. Life is made for making mistakes, being a fool, feeling stupid & speaking NOW. I know, I KNOW how hard this is. It’s terrifying. But it’s also incredibly liberating. There’s no better feeling that taking the wheel in your own life. Especially in dating situations.
We ladies have been given the short end of the stick on this one. We’ve been told to be mysterious, but not too mysterious. To be bold, but not too bold. To make it easy for the fellas, but not too easy. No wonder everyone’s always so confused! So, what are we to do? I personally choose to do what I think I should, not what people tell me.
Ladies, Fellas: be an ACTIVE participant in your own life! For goodness sake. Don’t “just let it happen”, MAKE it happen. To quote Incubus, “take the wheel & drive!” Don’t be passive. Don’t sit idly by & let life pass you by. What a waste!! We only get one chance in this life. Who wants to look back & think “oh, crap. I shoulda kissed him/her” or whatever you’re personal regret may be. If you wanna grab him/her & kiss the crap outta him/her, what the heck is stopping you?! Your own fear, that’s what. This could be your future we’re talking about here! Do you really want to let it fall through your hands because you’re too scared?
Isn’t everyone’s favorite scene in the movies when the guy/girl grabs the object of their affections & spills their heart out? That’s because we all have a secret fantasy of doing the same. We all want that fairytale ending. But, guess what? Fairytales are TRUE. No, seriously. They can happen to you & me if we just let them. And by let them, I mean MAKE them.


Not too be super cheestastic & cliche, but I love me some Taylor Swift [don’t judge me]. And I loved that her most recent album was titled Speak Now. In the jacket of this album, Miss Swift actually said something beautiful that has stuck with me [that girl has a gift with words, I tell ya!]. So, please, bare with me while I share [it’s worth the read, I promise!]:

“‘Speak now or forever hold your peace,’ the words said by preachers at the end of wedding ceremonies all over the world, right before the vows. It’s a last chance for protest, a moment that makes everyone’s heart race, and a moment I’ve always been strangely fascinated by. So many fantasize about bursting into a church, saying what they’d kept inside for years like in the movies. In real life, it rarely happens.
Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I’ve begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.
I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn’t speak up. When we didn’t say ‘I love you.’ When we should’ve said ‘I’m sorry.’ When we didn’t stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help.
[...]Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you’ll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.


What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.


So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying ‘I could’ve, but it’s too late now.’
There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it.
I don’t think you should wait. I think you should speak now.” - Taylor


Just like Miss Swift, I don’t think you should wait. Speak now. Say it. Kiss the crap outta her. Tell him he gives you the 6th-grade butterflies. Tell your friends & family you love them. Apologize. Fall in love.



Ladies & gents, THIS is what I know for sure.

adorable.

Jana & Billy Engagement from IRIS AND LIGHT on Vimeo.


This video is so cute. see, i told you; i love love.

makes me:

a. want to find a very cute bearded boy
b. want to get a videographer for my engagements/wedding.

go HERE to see more vids by iris and light.  they're amazing.

sickening sweet

you know those couples who are so in love [and show it so much that] it just makes you want to puke?

i swear i will never be one of those couples.
too cheesy for me.

yet.

truth be told


i love cheesiness. seriously.

see example here

*only my lips*


but... for future reference.. If I'm ever so cutesy with my mister {someday} will someone PLEASE remind me of this post and how it annoys me so?



PS don't get me wrong.  I love love.  I love chick flicks and get giddy watching Pride and Prejudice. 

but.. you know what I'm talking about, right?

okay.

Day 05 – Your definition of love

What is love? In what context? 

Since we're fast approaching Valentine's Day, I think it is appropriate to assume that the love we are speaking is true love.  that bwessed awangement.

When I think of couples who are in love I think of people who care about the other person.  Someone who is there through thick and thin.  Someone who will cry when you cry and be excited when you are.  They will not fathom to be with anyone else because they love you to bits and pieces.  They would never make fun of you or tear you down.  When you're in love with someone you love them for all their quirks and you can be completely yourself around them.  I think I'm just rambling now.  Because let's be honest.  I've never been in love.  I just hope that's what it would be like.  ...Someday, people.



Also--Speaking of Love, these are two of my best friends, Natasha and Colby.  They are great examples of the kind of love I want to be in somemday.  The forever kind.  Today's their 1 year anniversary!  Yay.  I love they they look at each other.  But mostly the way he looks at her.



Day 03 – Your parents

Wow. I already fail at a post a day.  And it's only Day 3!  I'll try to keep up from now on.  (I didn't blog yesterday because I was at a Jazz game--where the beat the Knicks!  Such a great game.)

Okay.  So my parents.

If any of you know them, you know that they are two amazing people.

They met while my dad was going to Utah State and my mom was working in Logan.  They were in the same ward and had mutual friends. They first hit it off when my dad, his bff and my mom were all looking at pictures from some YSA activity. My dad asked his bff who the hot girl in the picture was(my mom)...and she was standing right there...Embarrassing for my dad, maybe, but it worked out!

They dated for 4 months before getting engaged then were married almost 4 months later, exactly one year after my mom joined the church!

My dad is silly.  He wears this red fleece vest everywhere instead of a jacket.  I am going to burn that thing.  It's something that we kids are probably going to tell our kids about.  He also loves to play Glee Karaoke with us.  And he is great at it.  Leavin' on a Jet Plane is where it's at.

My mom is the life of the party.  She's learned how to text and facebook and probably does both more than us kids.  (okay, maybe we're pretty equal)  She picks up slang (ie what e'er, holla, jus' sayin).  It's great.  She also plays some cards with us and our friends. We love when she does.  Like I said.  Life of the party.


Love them to pieces.  Not only are they goofy and have their parent-quirks, they are the very best and I am so thankful to have them.  Truly.  My mom and dad are both extremely supportive and will do anything to help us achieve our goals.  They're seriously amazing.  Love you guys!

Day 02 – Your first love

My very first love was John Stamos.

I'm still in love with that man I grew up knowing as Uncle Jesse.  Many of you know this already.

I also had many crushes.  I think my first real crush was to the boy next door, Logan.  I loved him all through Elementary and Jr. High. Many of you know that, too.



Alright, there you have it.  End of discussion.

Top 10 favorite artists of all time : Music Edition

These are my Top 10 go-to's.  I seem to always default to these guys. Whenever I'm down their poppin beats cheer me up. Seriously.  Of course there are a zillion more I could have included but these guys just are awesome. 
Michael Jackson -
I'm sorry but I cannot get enough of Rock With You or Black or White. And have you seen This Is It?  He is an incredible performer as well!  Dear MJ, you're brilliant. Love, Erin
Justin Bieber -
I know there are a lot of JB haters out there... and for all of you, you haven't listened to his acoustic album yet, have you?  He clearly is talented.  And his songs are just sweet.  Cheesy, but sweet.  (I love me some cheesy love songs, ps.)  Oh. And I will be going to see JB3D in Feb.  Down to Earth, Overboard, and Never Say Never are among my favorites.
Glee Cast -
This one's kind of cheating since they do covers of a whole bunch of songs.  But.  I love blaring the music in my car and singing at the top of my lungs.  Glee music brightens even the darkest days!  Love me some Glee! Artie's take on Safety Dance never gets old.  And I love Finn and Rachel duets. Mmm!
Nat King Cole -
Unforgettable.  Enough said.
Backstreet Boys - I have always loved BSB.  I finally got to see them in concert.  It was so great. It was like I was 13 again!!  So hard to choose a favorite song.  The Call, Drowning, More Than That, and Quit Playin' Games (With My Heart) are fabulous!
Britney Spears -
I still frequent the Oops I Did It Again album.  Glee did a remake of Stronger.  Check it out { here }
Celine Dion -
I was first introduced to Celine when my mom bought the Titanic soundtrack.... My Heart Will Go On?... and on and on.... That song was ruined for me.  But ALL of her other music is brilliant.  I Surrender?  So fun to blare and sing.
Black Eyed Peas -
They just know how to rock a beat!  You can't deny it.  Pump it is one of my favorites!
Stevie Wonder -
He just has a way of cheering me up with his music and lyrics!  Love it.  Love him!  I loved when he guest starred on Full House!
Taylor Swift -
 Her album Fearless was my theme song (yes, her whole album was my theme song. I heard it.) this last year. Man, she will always have a special lil' place in my <3.

hell and hallelujah

my grandma is like whoa.

bless her heart, she doesn't remember her grandkids.

she doesn't remember if she knows how to walk sometimes either


she remembers little poems and songs sometimes.



every time we go see her she sings/speaks this particular song

we call it

hell and hallelujah

finally we googled some of the lyrics she'd repeat over and over


turns out the song is called Goody Goody

my favorite is the Frankie Lymon version


hell and hallelujah
you had it comin' to ya
goody goody for him
goody goody for me
i hope you're satisfied, you rascal you!


i need to post a video of her singing it on here.  it is glorious.  my mamacita is fabulous


last night sister and i went to visit her.  she was super sleepy and usually it's hell and hallelujah over and over and over ...and over.

but last night she kept repeating a song that kind of broke my heart
she just kept saying the words over and over and she got all teary eyed!  It was horrible.

I love my mamacita.  Her sweetheart (my papacito) passed away 16 years ago.  I could tell she was missing him lots yesterday.  Someday they'll be reunited though and how sweet that will be for them!


I Get the Blues When It Rains

(chorus)

I get the blues when it rains the blues I can't lose when it rains


Each little drop that falls on my window pane

Always reminds me of tears I've shed in vain

I sit and wait for the sun to shine down on me once again

It rained when I found you rained when I lost you

That's why I'm so blue when it rains

mamacita and i.. i think this was her 94th birthday in 2008

auntie, dad, uncle b, uncle k with mamacita

or I'll never give my heart

Nat King Cole put this perfectly.  This is how I'll fall in love.  When that gallant man proves that he is perfectly and incandescently happy and feels the exact same way for me as I do for him.  That's when I'll give my heart completely.  That's when I'll fall in love.  (yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic... songs like this make me melt!)
 
When I fall in love

It will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love

In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun
When I give my heart
It will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that
You feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you