friend feature: really-he's just not that into you

featuring Brittany from Really-He's Just Not That Into You ...Brittany was also a fellow Mormon Bachelor contestant with me!  I think we were destined to be friends. Enjoy!


I have a few “life directions” as I call them. My number one is to “be an active participant in your own life”. This boils down to almost anything.

But what I’d like to focus on in this guest post is dating.
Ahhh, dating. Every unattached person’s favorite subject. Being a 25 year old single Mormon female, I get berated with dating questions. The number one being “why aren’t you married???” [as if implying something’s wrong with me & no one wants me...] to which I want to respond “why are you so rude???” but alas, I usually just laugh & say something funny to change the subject.
I have a deep fascination with human relationships. Literally. I find people & how they interact endlessly entertaining. I’m even studying Family Studies. Oh, and I have a dating blog [really-hesjustnotthatintoyou.blogspot.com]. And you should see my collection of dating-advice books [I don’t have issues, it’s research!!]. Yeah, I wasn’t kidding.


So, what does all this have to do with “what I know for sure”? Lemme tell you.


Here’s what I know for sure. Life is for LIVING. Life is made for making mistakes, being a fool, feeling stupid & speaking NOW. I know, I KNOW how hard this is. It’s terrifying. But it’s also incredibly liberating. There’s no better feeling that taking the wheel in your own life. Especially in dating situations.
We ladies have been given the short end of the stick on this one. We’ve been told to be mysterious, but not too mysterious. To be bold, but not too bold. To make it easy for the fellas, but not too easy. No wonder everyone’s always so confused! So, what are we to do? I personally choose to do what I think I should, not what people tell me.
Ladies, Fellas: be an ACTIVE participant in your own life! For goodness sake. Don’t “just let it happen”, MAKE it happen. To quote Incubus, “take the wheel & drive!” Don’t be passive. Don’t sit idly by & let life pass you by. What a waste!! We only get one chance in this life. Who wants to look back & think “oh, crap. I shoulda kissed him/her” or whatever you’re personal regret may be. If you wanna grab him/her & kiss the crap outta him/her, what the heck is stopping you?! Your own fear, that’s what. This could be your future we’re talking about here! Do you really want to let it fall through your hands because you’re too scared?
Isn’t everyone’s favorite scene in the movies when the guy/girl grabs the object of their affections & spills their heart out? That’s because we all have a secret fantasy of doing the same. We all want that fairytale ending. But, guess what? Fairytales are TRUE. No, seriously. They can happen to you & me if we just let them. And by let them, I mean MAKE them.


Not too be super cheestastic & cliche, but I love me some Taylor Swift [don’t judge me]. And I loved that her most recent album was titled Speak Now. In the jacket of this album, Miss Swift actually said something beautiful that has stuck with me [that girl has a gift with words, I tell ya!]. So, please, bare with me while I share [it’s worth the read, I promise!]:

“‘Speak now or forever hold your peace,’ the words said by preachers at the end of wedding ceremonies all over the world, right before the vows. It’s a last chance for protest, a moment that makes everyone’s heart race, and a moment I’ve always been strangely fascinated by. So many fantasize about bursting into a church, saying what they’d kept inside for years like in the movies. In real life, it rarely happens.
Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I’ve begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.
I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn’t speak up. When we didn’t say ‘I love you.’ When we should’ve said ‘I’m sorry.’ When we didn’t stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help.
[...]Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you’ll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.


What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.


So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying ‘I could’ve, but it’s too late now.’
There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it.
I don’t think you should wait. I think you should speak now.” - Taylor


Just like Miss Swift, I don’t think you should wait. Speak now. Say it. Kiss the crap outta her. Tell him he gives you the 6th-grade butterflies. Tell your friends & family you love them. Apologize. Fall in love.



Ladies & gents, THIS is what I know for sure.