A little somethin' for everyone.

The new Bachelorette
She. Is. Nuts.
And here I am, excited for the new season.  Why?  That is a great question.
So here we go:  My thoughts as they come on The Bachelorette

She's a dancer? 
Extensions? 
I like her hair dark and long.  She's pretty.
"I'm gonna put my heart on the line"   been there. Done that...
25 guys are going to be disappointed when they get here... Really?  Nice confidence, Ash.
FLOATING LANTERNS!!?!?  Like TANGLED.
Emily!?!? Oh no he didn't.
Hi, Chris Harrison. 
Chris Harrison should host every reality show.  Ha!  He's great.
Brad-You will never be as cool as Chris Harrison!
...maybe the guy on Survivor.  What's his name again?
Ryan. Is. Hot.
Heart in the sunlight?...
Ames---aka Buzz Lightyear.
Ben C.. You are creepy!
"Especially when it comes to love".... SHIFTY EYES...
Bentley?...You are cute but you look like a jerk..
Utah people are jerks on the Bachelorette.
Oh West, You are cute!!
I have a crush on West.
Oh what's this guy's name?  He's quirky.  I like quirky!
He wears a broken watch?... That's kinda creepy.
William?  Is that his name?
...Does she kinda look like she has a snargle tooth?
Bentley!!! Drama BEFORE the guys arrive?!  Whaaaaat.....
A fellow dentist.  Eeehh.. What a freak!
Jon.  No.  You don't just pick a girl up in a fancy dress. Do not.
Lucas, you've got something stuck up your bum.  Seriously.  Loosen up!
William!!!! Yes.  I heart you. Holy crap.  Broken umbrella boy.. aka "the goober"
Prince William look-alike..
Brad-I hate him.
Mickey!?!?  Looks like Mickey Mouse! How fitting.
Brad-Mickey J my boy!
Eeeeewwww. Tim.  Gross.
Tim... Seriously? You are a CREEPer.
He makes me feel awkward and I'm just watching him on TV.
Ben?.... Eh. The french?... Weird...
And Ashley?  You're kinda a spaz.
Hockey Player. aka the Hairstylist!?!
Chris D... Ehh. Not impressed.  Creeper.

Okay, so 84% of the boys are creepers so far...

WEST! Yes, I love him.  He has a broken compass?  Okay, that's cute.  He's cute.
Anthony.  VIM.
He wears a gold chain?!!? Yikes!
Rob.  You look like a baby Chris Harrison.
Ames! Buzz Lightyear.  Keep him around.  He's weird.
Matt. You're kind of cute in a very weird way.
Squinty eyes.
Mask!  Jeff.
He's 35.  Why do you think he's wearing a mask?...
He's probably got disgusting acne.
Take the mask off!
Ben... You're still not cute, but you seem the most normal other than West.
Good first impression.  I like him.
Frank. You are a cocky son of a... You are lame, and I don't like you.
Michael.  Eh.  Your teeth need help.  Seriously.
Cheesy jokes=gross.
Chris?... Who on earh is this guy.
Ryan M.  You are a creeper... You're just a fan of the show. GOING HOME.
JP.  Maybe he'll grow on me... He seems genuine, but he's not gorg.  Classy.
Nick?... vim. The poem is freaking stupid.  I hate cheesy.  Except for duets.  I love cheesy duets.
Blake the flake.  The dentist.
Bentley. I do not like you already.  She looks like she's not fooled. 
Constantine.  What is up with all the long-haired boys?!!  Gross. get a haircut!
Okay, the floss ring is pretty cute!
Bentley is not that attractive!!! Choose WEST!

Team West.

That is established.

That guy with the mask has no friends.
Mafia-Gold Chain does not look impressed with Ashley either.
Cheeeerssss guysssss!!!!  I think she acts like a 13 year old.
Ashley's Sparkling!?... DUH she's wearing a rhinestoned dress.
Ryan looks like Jake+Kiptyn...
Ben F. Goofy lookin yet cute personality!
It's GOOD to be a mama's boy?... She's calling his Mom?... Bizarre.
I promise that guy will not win... Mom's giving advice?
Fantasy suite advice?... Gross. What a freak.
This brings back Wes memories. 
He doesn't really play the guitar?.. You just ruined a guitar!
Okay, this is not about pulling tricks.
Ben F is funny too!  I like him..

Phantom of the opera... Jeff. Eughhhhh. Yeah, I don't like him.  He's got girly eyes.
I don't like Tim.  Or Jeff.
Ben F is cool!  He kinda looks like Josh Groban.
Canada has an earring? That's gross.
Jon looks like a jerk.
Tim is nuts!! Ashley. Run away from him!!
He is VERY drunk right now, isn't he?
He's not making any sense.
Gross.
The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Thank you for providing unlimited alchohol.
Gross.
He has a drinking problem.
Ashley. Do not feel bad. He is pathetic.
Tim is OUT of it!  Okay, Bachelorette. Move on.  I'm sick of looking at him.
Jeff, you're wearing a mask. 
Take that off, weirdo!
This is so great, 20 minutes of drunk Tim.  MOVE ON!!!
And she thinks it's endearing, doesn't she?!...
Yeah, it happens to all of us! BUH bye, Tim.
Bahaah!! Phantom!
I love the organ music in the background whenever he's around.
He's goin' home.
"INTERESTING!"  aka "You're a freak."
Jeff... You are cheesy.
Pffff.. Ashley, you're just being nice because you're on tv.
JP
Ashley. You are a freak. I WANT to be called Cupcake.??....
JP You're cute.
Okay, yes. You're cute.
Bentley.  You and crazy Michelle were meant for eachother!
I bet Michelle was the friend who sent Ashley the message!!!!
Body language. She doesn't trust him.
Gaaahhh I don't know what I think about him.
Ryan is cute!!
YES! First impression rose.  I like Ryan. He has a happy vibe that I like.
Bentley freaks me out.  He is kind of intense.
Rob?  Who are you?
Who was this guy?

**MAVS/THUNDER COMMERCIAL BREAK**
Dirk Nowitzki is ugly.
AAahhh get the rebound!
Westbrook, you are horrible!
Wow, lucky shot!
We are only down 2! 
You have GOT to get this!  COME ON DALLAS!
2 point game. W'eve got this! Aaaagh!
Only 38.6 seconds left.
This is real life unlike the Bachelorette.
TAKE that BALL!
FOUL! YESSS
6 seconds left. My heart is racing.
100-101.
No pressure, Dirk.
Way to go, sweat sweepers. Take your time.
TIE GAME.
HOLY
my heart is pounding right now!
.7 seconds left and a TIME OUT!
Holy crap. I'm going to have a heart attack.
Who will shoot the winning shot?!
Overtime.

And we're back to The Bachelorette
Rose Ceremony!
Only 6 going home!?... Huh.
Jeff. 1st. Mask boy. Creeper.  I give it 2 more weeks.
Constantine. Floss Ring. Josh Groban.
Pick JP!
OOOH Ben F!! I really like him. Yes.
Lucas??... Who the..
Bentley looks perplexed.  Send him HOME!
Steven.  What is with this long hair?  HAIRCUT!
Pick JP!
Matt???  You look like that guy on Galaxy Quest!!!
Nick.
JP looks sad.
Chris... ugly.
Ryan M. He's a goober!
West, JP and Will still have not been picked!
Blake!?... COME ON, Ashley!
Mickey!?!  Okay, she has horrible judgement.
Ben C.  I don't know who half of these guys are.
WEST finally! YES TEAM WEST!
WILLIAM!  Ohhh he has my heart already! Cute cute cute!
JP!! Finally! Yesss I really like him, even though he has squinty eyes! (I do too, though...)
Hell yeah? I like this guy! HAH
Buzz Lightyear.. I mean Ames.
She's gonna choose Bentley.
I KNEW it!
Oh man.
Keegan "I knew it, it was that purple tie!"
She sent mafia home... Darn it!

**Mavs/Thunder**
105-105 with 1:15 left on the clock.
Come on Big D get the ball!
Don't foul!!

YES! That was NOT a foul, Brad. Shut up!
YESSS! Go Jason! We're up 3!
Calm it down, Brad! Nobody likes the Thunder!
Okay let's finish this game. 44 seconds left.
31 seconds left.
Let's get a move on.. Come on, Dallas!
17 seconds left!  Foul!
The mavs.  Just a smart team!
109-105. HA! Take that, OKC!
5 point game. I am loving this!
13 seconds left.

The Bachelorette
Go back to NJ! See if you can get a job with Cake Boss!
Rob the jr high kid.  Okay, go home!
Jon. Yes, I knew he'd go home.  Get out of here!
Upcoming season!!
Jabbawockey's?
Brodaway musical?
JP! Yes. He's cute!
Tokyo?  That looks awesome.
Balding?
Mickey.
Thailand.
I don't see Bentley anywhere.
West! I love him.

FLOATING LANTERNS.  Holy crap i love that. That is my dream date.
JP. I love him.
WOOO
WWOOOOO!
Okay, Ash. Calm it down.
Jeff is STILL wearing the mask?!
Bentley looks like a crazy guy.
Hospital?!  Wooow. This is going to be great.
Bentley you PLayyya.
She just Admitted she is in love with Bentley!!
HOLY get out of here!!
Ashley!! You seriously KNEW he was a freak going into it!


I am going to hate this season.

So, there you go.