Who is Me?

the gal who wants Christian Louboutin pumps. Just one pair?

the gal who secretly wants to live in NYC someday

the lady who is going to be a wedding gown designer.

the gal who has so much fun just holding blank white paper imagining what to doodle on it

the girl who loves crackers. and frosting. not together.

the gal who thinks the 40's was super chic

the gal who loves Harry Potter

the gal who just loves to dress up, for any and every occasion.

the one who loves oldies. Jo Stafford has a stunning voice.

Seriously right now?!

Did Michael Jackson really just die of a heart attack!?

He's one of those people you just think will never die!

He is a legend.

I will always remember him for:

Thriller. And making stake/institute dances that much cooler with the dance

The "Only in America can a poor little black boy grow up to be a rich white woman" joke

his NOSE and scary scary face. Another example of how terrible plastic surgery is.

Super Talented Dancer.. Moonwalking, the ol' crotch-grab

His Music is amazing. West Coast Swing, anyone?

Captain EO

"I don't wake up for much, but I'll wake up for Michael Jackson..." {inside joke}

Thanks for the good times, MJ

.fearless.

I was the girl who for three years went to college to do generals trying to "figure out" what she wanted to be because she was too scared to go for what she really wanted. The girl who never took risks. Never stayed out late. Never got up to express her testimony to the world in a church setting. Never chopped off her hair {even though she badly wanted to} in fear of how others would like it.

Why is it that I was so afraid to be myself?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory ... that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson


It finally dawned on me that I should stop caring what others thought, because how was I to be truly happy if I didn't pursue my dreams? I was so scared of even trying to go for what I wanted, I was so unhappy trying to pursue other careers.

I'm finding now that I'm so much happier, that opportunities are opening up around every corner. People are happy for me because I'm happy. I have a new confidence that is helping me see the world in a different light. I have new goals, and I'm reaching for the stars.

Who am I not to be fabulous?

If there's any advice I can give you, it would be to go for what you want. Do what you love. Love life and love learning and everything just falls into place.
Funny how that works out, isn't it?

Preview!

Fashion Remix coming up soon (well, in 3.5 months!)

Here's a preview of our design:

Always aim your goals and aspiration for the moon, because even if you don't make it, you'll always end up reaching the stars

***

All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.

Spying Etiquette

Apparently I'm a good candidate for being spied upon.

I got home from watching the cowboys and found some pictures of ME from across the stadium.

Thanks Rico.

Pictures to come.

*note*

the previous story is true, but maybe a tad over exaggerated. story was shared all in good humor and to remember this awkward dating stage in life.. Blind dates are fun. :)

Dear [Corey],

When I accepted your invitation to go on a date with you, I did not say anything about being your girlfriend or even having any intenions of even liking you in that way. I went because those sort of dates always make funny stories, and well, ours makes a great story.

You were very shy when you picked me up. You were kind of awkward, but I didn't think anything of it, since first dates seem to give me the jitters, so I figured you had f.d.j. as well. As the date went along, I could tell you were interested by the way you would oh so slyly touch my arm when I'd say something funny or witty. I caught on to those not so subtle hints right away. I was onto you. But I continued to have a good time and be myself. I wasn't going to let one date with a stranger get in my way of having fun. When the date ended you innocently[i thought] asked for my phone number. I, having no real intentions to see you again, just gave you the number to avoid awkward questions. I just shouldn't have given you my number. I know better now.

I knew something was off when you kept texting me after my one-word answers. Even after I would tell you in my friendly way about other dates I went on you insisted you explain yourself and apologize for silly things like not making eye contact on the date.

I think you may have OCD.. But that's beside the point.


What really drew the line for me is when I invited you to dinner with me and my group of friends and you made no effort to talk to anyone. You just made awkward comments here and there, and afterward you texted me to ask me what you did wrong and what you could have done to make me feel better? We can still be distant friends I suppose. Maybe we would have been better friends had you been less creeper.

Don't take this the wrong way, You're still a nice guy. Good luck.

Sincerely, Erin.

.yes.

I want to kiss in the rain.


just not with you.

Definition

Old Maid: Woman [generally in Utah] in her twenties and unwed.

I don't actually think I AM old, I just used the term in the prior post because it's brought up so much in this culture!!

Just Clarifying. :)

Finally!

I like to fall asleep to movies.

The past few weeks it's been While You Were Sleeping. I've started it every night. Never finished it, until TODAY.

It's darling.

I <3 Sandra Bullock.


I'm excited for The Proposal next week. And Ryan Reynolds. enough said.

Old Maid

I feel like I'm in Junior High all over again.

Seriously, though!

(I think I was 19 in the picture)

In Jr. High:

You don't quite fit in with the elementary school friends(people don't really have friends that young at that age--I hung out with my sister, so I did...) And you don't dare talk to the older kids because they're too scary.

You hear all sorts of things about High School and how you need to be "serious about what your school work" because in 9th grade "it all counts". What on earth did THAT mean?..

You didn't know quite what to expect with boys. You read into everything, and analyzed EVERY little thing.. (ie. *gasp* he looked at me. He must want to "go out" with me.) And what was "going out", anyway? I never really knew. I just nodded and smiled when asked about it, pretending like I grew up knowing the term.

At 22:

All my guy friends are interested in the "elementary age girls" (now 18-19) and all my girl friends are past the 18-19 stage and are married. I am the awkward 22 year old girl who isn't married or on a mission. In Utah terms, I am the "old maid". (side note: I never dreamed I would be an old maid. I just laugh thinking about this and how I honestly don't feel old. anyway..)

You must know about where you're going in life. (something I hate is when people have expectations for me too. hmm.)

The following conversation often occurs:

"So, are you in school?"

"yes."

"Oh? What is your major?"

"Fashion Design"

"huh... And what exactly do you plan on doing with that?"

(I've got this part memorized)"I would like to open my own store designing Bridal gowns"

"oh, cool..."

Even though it may seem like I do know where I'm going, there are so many different routes I want to take! It's insane. If I've learned anything in my education experiences it's not to make official plans until the time comes, and just to take things one step at a time. Life seems to be much happier that way.

So back up off me! I've got things under control.

I STILL don't know what to expect with boys. I read into things way too much, still. I don't think I'll ever figure that one out.. Again with the whole, "taking things as they come" deal.

But do you see what I mean? The Old Maid age is terrible. Of course it has it's wonderful points, too. To Be Continued...

first date

I became a fan of the idea of dating since I was little. Watching DJ and Steve (from Full House) go on dates and have a lot of fun together made me really excited for the day I would turn 16 and have my turn to date cute boys like Steve.

I had a lot of ideas of how my first dating experiences would be, too. I would be walking down the hall and a cute boy would catch my eye and the whole slow-motion-eye-contact-hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment would happen... Or my favorite, the moment I turned 16 I thought the boys would be lining up down the street to ask me out!

I was SO wrong.


16th Birthday. Got my driver's license. That was about it. No boys. No lining up down the street. Boo.


Fast forward 6 months.

firstdate

.theaskout.

It all started in my Astronomy class. I'm sitting there, talking about the Homecoming dance with the cute boy sitting next to me, when the shy not so cute boy in front of me turns around and asks, "WHAT?! You haven't been asked to Homecoming yet?!"... followed by a "hmmmm"..

I should have known what was coming.

That night. I was asked to Homecoming. By a boy who I didn't know. I recognized the name, however.

Long story short, I said yes.



.daydate.

Said boy comes to pick me up. We (just the two of us) go out to his little 2-door ghetto car and he drives me to Walmart. Yes, Walmart... To get me a fishing license. that's right ladies and gents. FISHING.

I'd never been fishing before either. 2 firsts.

we then squish into his friend's truck with his date.. so there's friend, friend's date and I in the front seat and my date is in the back. lovely.

So we get up to the "fishing lake" {more like a large pond} in the middle of nowhere up the canyon, and the other couple we were with decided to go sit on the picnic blanket and just start kissing. 1. gross. 2. PDA 3. Seriously right now?! I'm on a blind-ish date right now!! Do not do this to me!!

Then, my date proceeds to try to teach me how to fish.. You know, the whole arm-around-the-girl-holding-my-hands-onto-the-fishing-pole crap! try being the key word here.. I just flipped out a little and said ...You know, I think I'll just watch you.. So I went and sat by the makey-outers. (they had stopped at this point) And waited for everyone to be done "fishing".

Long story short, boy dropped me off, and instead of getting ready for the actual dance, I cried. I was horrified. I hated the day, I was mortified that a boy that I hardly knew was hitting on me and I was scared to go to the dance portion with this boy. But, instead of faking the ebola virus, I decided to just go and make the best of it. After all, I had bought a new dress for it!

.fastforward to the dance portion of the date.

I get all dolled up and he comes to pick me up. He tells me we're going to Applebee's {love it!} and so I thought that it wouldn't be so bad! After dinner we headed to the dance {i was SO excited to see friends there, and show off my hot black gown too!}. I danced 3 songs while my date sat on a bench and waited, he hated dancing.. So after I got my dancing in, we went and took our pictures for the date. And left. We all went back to said boy's house. dun dun dun!! And decided to watch a movie before having to take the ladies home. I chose The Emporer's New Groove, which everyone agreed was a good pick. 5 minutes into the movie, and of course the makey-outers start doin their makey-outy-ness {sick.}

Said date boy: "Heyyy, erin. Come sit by me here on this love seat!"
Erin: Uh... No, I think I'll sit on the floor, thanks. Oh. And I have to be home by 11pm.

So, promptly at 10:55, I broke up the makey-outers and remind everyone I had to leave {lie} and they took me home. I thanked the boy, gave him the ol' high five and went in my door.


I then cried myself to sleep.

What a wonderful first impression on dating. I think it scarred me for life a little bit.